Practice: Name it, face it, embrace it

Spend one minute with a feeling you've been dodging

Chances are, there’s something in your psychological landscape that’s bothering you right now. It doesn’t have to be big. Maybe it’s an argument you had with someone that you can’t stop replaying, or just a generalized sense that something isn’t quite right.

Instead of avoiding or attacking it, just for the span of a minute try this:

• Name it: Pinpoint it to yourself plainly, in one or two words. Nervous. Annoyed. Scared. Describe the physical feeling, not the story or the analysis around it.

• Face it: Find where it is in your body. Stomach. Jaw. Shoulders. Don’t be afraid to feel it. You’re not thinking about the situation, you’re turning your full attention on the underlying sensation.

• Embrace it: This is the counterintuitive part. Stop holding the feeling at arm’s length. Let it be exactly what it is without trying to either minimize or exaggerate it. Breathe steadily and stay with the raw sensation for thirty seconds.

The feeling may or may not go away, but that’s less the point. The change is in your response: every time you embrace difficult experiences head-on, you become less crippled by fear.

You’re not failing at life when something hurts, but you are stalling if you avoid it. Facing the hurt is the practice, and it pays off.